What Obstacle(s) Have You Encountered In Your Cultivation?

On September 13, 2025, I paid my respects to Zhengda Jiaozun. One of my questions was why an abbot—who had been learning from H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III for so many years—recently regressed (退道). I asked because I wanted to understand his problem, so I would not repeat the same mistake. These are cautionary examples for us. Zhengda Jiaozun told me that one of the issue was man yuan (埋怨), which I translate to English as blame and resentment. I understand that this hint from a Golden Button Level 2 holy being is a wake-up call. It’s something I need to work on. “I need to nip it in the bud.”

To outsiders like us, it may appear that people regressed suddenly. But that’s usually not the case. They are the result of long-ignored issues in one’s own cultivation. If we do not address the root of the problem, even having to eliminate it in the “mind karma,” it becomes a ticking time bomb. When we repent, if we can’t promise we won’t make the mistake again, the repentance is shallow or fake. Are you able to avoid making this mistake under any circumstances? Can you keep this up? Are you still making the mistake in your consciousness?

I recently read or heard something that I agree with deeply: we always still have that “bad side.” The absence of it doesn’t mean this flaw is gone. It’s waiting for outside conditions to bring it out. Thus, we can’t conclude if an obstacle in our cultivation is resolved by only looking at its absence.

I tend to man yuan others—more so especially when I feel I am “right” in blaming them. For example, when it comes to spreading the Buddha-Dharma, helping living beings, or supporting Buddhist causes, and I believe so-and-so isn’t doing something correctly or has impure intentions I man yuan. If they don’t do something well that I think I could have done better, I man yuan. This is what makes man yuan so dangerous—it’s hard to detect as a wrongdoing. When one is caught up in man yuan one forgets to turn the light inward.

Questions to ask oneself:

1. What are they doing well?

2. Do they know something I don’t that’s important to the decision-making? 

3. But can I really do better than them in their position? 

4. What am I doing poorly?

This kind of blaming and resentful thinking became strong because I allowed it to grow. I didn’t think it was wrong or “wrong enough” to be handled like how I handle other wrong thoughts. Normally, I immediately focus my attention on trying to correct the wrong thoughts with my Buddha Master’s Dharma discourses and Buddha Dharma. I need correct views and understanding, to resolve my thoughts more easily, logically, and sincerely—understanding from the bottom of my heart.

The following is shared from my own perspective. No one has wronged me; I will describe the events as I saw them, because I should give context to explain one of my big obstacles in cultivation “man yuan 埋怨.” 

to be continued…